I think I might have to end my weekly Bad Baby Name post streak at two, because this week’s is so bad I don’t think it can ever be topped.
The list of names started off badly enough, with Paychence as the first name. Poor girl, having to go through life knowing her parents were morons. Krystynn was in the list. Replacing one vowel with a y should be a misdemeanour, replacing two should be a felony. Camrenn was in there too, and it’s the name of a boy. Yes, I know that Cameron can be a perfectly good boy’s name, but only when it’s spelled Cameron. Then again, his other given names were Dinan and Llaguno.
Then there was the unholy trio of Jhace, Wylder, and Jayke, and I thought I had my Bad Baby Names.
But six names from the end of the list came the champion. The bad baby name to end all bad baby names. La creme de la creme. The absolute pinnacle (or nadir, depending on your point of view) of bad baby names.
Are you ready for it? Brace yourselves. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Abcde.
That’s the name.
Abcde.
I’m not making this up.
Abcde.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the stories of immigrant mothers with a tenuous grasp of the English language naming their kid “Nosmo King” because of the “No Smoking” sign they saw in the hospital. There’s also stories of kids being named Chlamydia or Gonorrhea because it “sounded pretty”.
But Abcde?
I mean, how do you pronounce it? “Ab-kuh-duh”? Do you actually speak each letter in turn?
And why in God’s name would you even name your kid this? Bastardizing a pre-existing name is understandable enough, but the first five letters of the alphabet? What the hell is wrong with people?
#1 by lived with/oddity name on May 10th, 2009
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@Catherine
Believe me, I looked this name up on a whim. There was a name in the paper announcing this name for a child. The mother HAS a “history” that
affected lives in the most heinous way. The parentage is questionable.
How do you account for that? This child born has a stigma, all right.
In this case it IS abusive, in my opinion! Creative? No, ABSENT of ALL
creativity. How do I know? Because I have LIVED with a name that my own
mother didn’t call me by, and substituted a nickname, cutesy by her
standard that was even more damaging, and it has taken more than half my life to dispel the affects of my sense of self. Odd names; boys’ names for girls and girls’ names for boys should be bannedby authorities issuing birth certificates! Parents who do this have NO CONCEPT what they are doing to their child! It is NOT LOVE, it is HATRED for their OWN FLESH! I agree with the above contributor!
#2 by John on May 25th, 2009
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The name is pronounced Ab-sa-dee, my mother teaches pre-k and has a child with this name in her class. thats how she prounounces it anyway. I would like to add Pajamas, pronounced pa-jay-mas and Mattress pronounced ma-treise
#3 by Angelic Flores on May 25th, 2009
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I have a daughter named Abcde and it is pronounced ab-sa-dee. She is a wonderful child and everyone loves her name. It is a unique name but it fits her unique im pretty sure she is the firsy one with that name because i did not get it from anywhere, it was a name i came up with different for my first child. She loves her name and recognizes its uniqueness. So i guess im the one who came up with the name and im proud of that name.
#4 by Angelic Flores on May 25th, 2009
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I have a daughter named Abcde and it is pronounced ab-sa-dee. She is a wonderful child and everyone loves her name. It is a unique name but it fits her unique im pretty sure she is the first one with that name because i did not get it from anywhere, it was a name i came up with different for my first child. She loves her name and recognizes its uniqueness. So i guess im the one who came up with the name and im proud of that name.
#5 by Melinda Fierros, M.D. on July 3rd, 2009
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Angelic Flores, you are very disturbed.
Is the first 5 letters of the alphabet the extent of your imagination? If so, you have some issues that will burden your children for the rest of their lives. If you fail to treat these issues, you will know what I mean when your children resent you.
#6 by parv on July 7th, 2009
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Well, before a child goes on to resent the parent(s), s?he should try the legal recourse when turns 18. I think all would be needed is filing the appropriate papers and/or paying nominal fees.
I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV.
#7 by Michelle on July 13th, 2009
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Ok well Angelic, apparently stupid names run in your family,,,Angelic,,,r u serious. I doubt that you have been angelic your whole life, maybe they should have named you Moronic.
As for abcde,,i heard that first on a flight to california in 2001. I thought it was dumb then and nothing has changed, except for stupid folks naming their innocent child that stupid name.
#8 by jo riley on July 19th, 2009
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A friend’s daughter in law named her baby boy Jyson. It’s hard to say and it’s hard to think about. It’s one of the most grating name I’ve ever heard.
#9 by Al B. Frank on July 20th, 2009
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I just asked my 4 year old daughter, How do you spell “ab-sa-dee” She thought for a minute sounded it out and with precise phonetics, and said vwxyz, kidding, she said A-B-S-I-D-E-E. This I thought could viably be a name. I then spelled abcde and asked her to pronounce it she said A-B-C-D-E-F-G…ETC. and continued to sing the alphabet song (cute as heck). I am sorry to all the Abcde’s out there. These parents are probably the ones who rely on sesame street and public schools alone to teach their kids to read and spell. Maybe Abcde’s husband Espn will be able to console her.
#10 by Al B. Frank on July 20th, 2009
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I just asked my 4 year old daughter, How do you spell “ab-sa-dee”? She thought for a minute sounded it out and with precise phonetics, and said vwxyz, kidding, she said A-B-S-I-D-E-E. This I thought could viably be a name. I then spelled abcde and asked her to pronounce it she said A-B-C-D-E-F-G…ETC. and continued to sing the alphabet song (cute as heck). I am sorry to all the Abcde’s out there. These parents are probably the ones who rely on sesame street and public schools alone to teach their kids to read and spell. Maybe Abcde’s husband Espn will be able to console her.
#11 by A boy named Sue on July 20th, 2009
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It will only make her tougher. She might even start playing softball then start wearing bandana’s and wife beater and flannel shirts. She may be strong enough to stop water from entering a land mass.
#12 by Al B. Frank on July 20th, 2009
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Excuse the double post, I kept reading about absuhdee or whatever the $#!% its name is and it really made me want to start drinking absinthe.
#13 by Vwxyz on July 30th, 2009
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Abcde aint got nuthing on me my name is Vwxyz pronounced Vuhwixeez.
My mothers imagination extends to the end of the alphbet- she didnt just stop at the first five letters and I got that crazy y vowl to. Can anyone beet that?
#14 by Vwxyz on July 30th, 2009
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I fergot to mention my dogz name, DOG, spelt D-O-G and prunounced
Dee-O-Gee with an accent on the O, of course. Poor DOG, always getting into fights. No other dog just wants to get a whif. They just want to fight,
#15 by ABDCE JONES on August 14th, 2009
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I think it’s supposed to be pronounced abs’dee.Yes it’s a crap name.
#16 by Amber on August 17th, 2009
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There are children named Abcde and that should be taken into consideration when leaving comments. Whether or not you like the name does not matter. Take these children’s feelings into consideration…as adults. After all, not everyone has parents creative enough to name their children Melinda, Michelle, or Al. (That was meant to be sarcastic…just guessing you’re not quick enough to pick up on that.) You people are pathetic and should find something else to do with your time.
#17 by XYZ Steven Smith on September 2nd, 2009
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That is the dumbest name I have ever heard of. I think I’m gonna name my kid XYZ, Pepsi, or better yet Saturn. What is this world coming to? What happened to simple names like John, Matt, and David or Sarah, Ashley, and Lindsey. Overdiversification is going to eventually lead to our ultimate doom. God help us (if you are out there). Hopefully 2012 comes in 2011 likes many scientists are predicting. Hopefully that swine flu comes your way…
#18 by Honest John on October 8th, 2009
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People who name their kids Abcde should be thrown in the gas chamber!
#19 by Nikki on October 10th, 2009
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wow you people are stupid who cares what other people name their children its their choice and for one i am planning on naming my daughter Abcdé pronounced ab-sh-day.I think it is pretty and unique stupid names are names like John and Michelle way to plain so many people are named that.
#20 by Brad on October 10th, 2009
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Just when I thought Abcde couldn’t be beat, Nikki comes along.
Call your daughter Shitface, that’s unique too. No wait, Shitfacé.
#21 by corrina on October 10th, 2009
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I am a teacher, and while I must agree that Abcde is very um… unique, I’ve seen so many crazy names that nothing surprises me any more. The twins lemonjello and orangejello (la-mon-jalo and or-an-jalo) Shithead (sha-theed) and my personal favorite La-Shia… Her teacher kept saying her name wrong, and the girl would not correct her (kindergarten) so the mom called and told the teacher that the dash (that would be the hyphen) was not silent and her name was pronounced (la-dash-ia). I didn’t even know that symbols could make a phonetic sound… I was wrong! Oh and we have the girls named after cars: Porche, Mercedes, Lexus, and Infiniti. I would be so mad if I was Infiniti.
#22 by Licha on October 11th, 2009
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i have a friend named abcde, i don’t think its bad. no one makes fun of her and she doesn’t seem to hate her name. We all think its interesting and it sounds pretty when pronounced how she pronounces it “ab sih dee” i don’t see why everyone here is making such a big deal over it.
#23 by KL on October 18th, 2009
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I would just like to clarify one thing that *many* people get wrong: the name “Mercedes” came well before the famous car manufacturer. In fact, the company (Mercedes-Benz) was named after a little girl. Mercedes is a very beautiful name, and very common in Spanish-Catholic areas, translating to “Mercy” (sometimes roughly translated to “Grace”). The name Maria Mercedes is usually in reference to the Virgin Mary with Mercedes as a middle name in honor of “Our Lady of Mercy.” This is also my daughter’s name, and I cringe whenever people suspect I named her after a car. Sorry about the vent. :)
#24 by Emma on October 26th, 2009
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I think that Abcde is a beautiful name. I’m 6 months pregnant, and I’m thinking of naming my bundle of joy Absidy. Or maybe Absidaey. Something rare. Unique. Good thinking!
#25 by Brad on October 26th, 2009
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You’re saying that just to give me an aneurysm, aren’t you? Because seriously, nobody in their right mind would name their kid a misspelled version of Abcde.
#26 by Kendra on November 25th, 2009
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What is wrong with you people? Do you have nothing better to do than make horrible insults/comments about NAMES of all things? Use your idiocy to fight for more important issues. Goshh…
#27 by Andrea on November 26th, 2009
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the name Abcde (like many of these terrible names) has a high likely hood of being in child protective custody. It is pronounced Ab- sa – dy.
#28 by Tiffany Brown on December 5th, 2009
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someone just had a daughter in my town and named her Abcde which I thought was the weirdest thing ever…I come to this website and I see that not only is she not the only one named this but apparently its semi-popular. I’m not knocking it I’m just shocked that someone would name their child A-B-C-D-E….but lucky for little Abcde she’s not the only one….hows that for unique and different?!
#29 by janie on December 7th, 2009
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you guys are so f@*&ing stupid who cares its just a name its nothing bad….
#30 by janie on December 7th, 2009
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you all s#*K
#31 by janie on December 7th, 2009
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YOUR ALL F***ING STupid
#32 by amish on December 8th, 2009
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You all need to work on your punctuation.
Oh, and it’s “You’re”
#33 by Ms. Canspice on December 8th, 2009
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By the way janie this site doesn’t edit out words such as fuck so go ahead and write it! Also I can’t think of the translation for s#*K. Anyone know?
#34 by Brad on December 8th, 2009
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I do believe it’s suck.
#35 by Hannah on December 12th, 2009
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Okay, I have something to say here: What about people with “normal, cute” names like “John and Michelle and Ashley and Thomas” that might be WORSE OFF than an Abcde. I have an absolutely normal name and honestly, it makes me feel really bad about myself. It feels like I could just disappear and nobody’d give a flying fuck because there are so many people with my name out there that somebody’d be there to take my place. Like I don’t matter.
And. . . I was just wondering if anybody had a take on that. Thanks. . .
#36 by Rob on December 15th, 2009
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You think Ofer or Lioz are strange names in a foreign country like Israel? Or Hans is an odd name in Scandanavian countries? No; they are common, names like Brad and Melinda are strange there.
What a bunch of intollerant, unimaginative, boring, antiquated dumb-fucks. A name is a name is a name. Go travel the world and learn a little. The author of this post should be hauled off to a vet and be put down.
Idiots.
#37 by Absidy on December 18th, 2009
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Do any of you unimaginative, rude, ignorant, boring idiots know how much it hurts when someone says that much about my parents’ creativity skills? I think all of you need to pay Kendra, Janie, Emma, Nikki, and the rest of them an apology. And Brad, it’s very annnoying when you check this site periodically just to flame some more.
And, BTW, my middle name (as well as my mom’s) is Theodosia. But she went by Dari. Don’t ask me.
#38 by Brad on December 19th, 2009
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This is my website. I get emailed whenever someone comments, so technically I don’t check it periodically.
Theodosia is a very nice name. And I applaud your parents for not naming you Abcde. Phonetically Abcde isn’t a bad name, it’s just when it’s spelled with the first five letters of the alphabet that it becomes a Bad Baby Name.
#39 by Taylen on December 25th, 2009
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And Brad, Nikki is short for Nicole, if you were dumb enough not to realize that!
#40 by Brad on December 26th, 2009
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You completely missed the point of my comment to Nikki, Taylen. I was in no way saying Nikki is a bad name. Try reading Nikki’s comment first.
#41 by Austin on December 31st, 2009
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I think Abcde sounds nice, and the spelling doesn’t bother me. It also won’t bother me if you all get ridiculously angry over my differing opinion. Heh, but maybe it should, because someone that’d get that worked up over a name is *obviously* smarter than someone who’d name a kid Abcde.
#42 by random teacher on January 2nd, 2010
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Well Austin, you must not be a teacher. It is absolute HELL to struggle through a roster with “unique” names. One tends to crash and burn among three and four year olds who do not always correct the butchered pronunciation of their name. Then you have the tween and teenagers that are ready to throw a book at your eye if you even think of stumbling over the jagged spelling of their name. One can only imagine what a future employer of that child will think when they glance over an application bearing the name “Abcde”. It is human nature to be judgmental. It is just that it is more socially acceptable to hide these judgements. It is sad that someone would be judged so harshly on the basis of his/her name, but it is a reality and often does happen. PLEASE think before naming your children lest they be the butt of MANY jokes amongst peers and elders!
#43 by Darvin on January 5th, 2010
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All of you who don`t like ABcDe`can go to HELL`this is the name of my first son who will stand out where ever he goes,he is the only one in the Bahamas.
#44 by Molly on January 8th, 2010
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I don’t mind the sound of lots of names – popular like Kristin, or strange like Abcde. It’s just the spelling of the name that gets me. Krystynn, for instance. Like, WTF? I see a porn star on the way! And don’t even start on Abcde. Maybe written Absiday or something like that wouldn’t be so bad, but Abcde? When I first saw this name, I immediately thought of Elmo singing “Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz” all as one word. I’m not saying that all names have to be generic, I’m just saying that maybe a parent should think about the name they are giving their wonderful bundle of joy… because many of these odd spellings are just going to be a nuisance later on in life.
#45 by Seth on January 12th, 2010
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My kid’s name is going to be rjsmetmaldfaok, pronounced MAR-tin.
#46 by Kelly on January 19th, 2010
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LOL Seth.. my grandma is a midwife and had a patient who named her daughter PLACENTA cuz she thought it sounded perdy.. I bet she’d rather be named abcde.. I however will stick to more sane names.
#47 by Jen on January 21st, 2010
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I know a lady whose granddaughter is named Abcde. Her twin sister is Amarra (or something of the like).
I refer to the one twin as Alphabet.
I think if it was spelled the way it is said, it is really a pretty name.
But as a business owner – it would be very hard to hire someone with this name. Just like looks, a name says a thousand words. Written words – spelling counts and if it looks weird no matter how it is said can be damaging.
We’re not talking the Coco’s, Apple’s and Inspektor Pilots of the Hollywood world – these kids will have to live in the real world with their name and try to be taken seriously. Some will be able to pull it off, some won’t. I just don’t think chancing your childs future is worth it, just to be unique.
Maybe since more and more “unique” names are being used, this name too will just fly by.
#48 by random teacher on January 26th, 2010
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Why not just save the “unique” names for pets? Why screw up an innocent child’s life? Makes no sense. So sad.
#49 by bob on January 29th, 2010
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its pronouned ab c de
#50 by donkey kong on January 29th, 2010
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WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!