I think I might have to end my weekly Bad Baby Name post streak at two, because this week’s is so bad I don’t think it can ever be topped.
The list of names started off badly enough, with Paychence as the first name. Poor girl, having to go through life knowing her parents were morons. Krystynn was in the list. Replacing one vowel with a y should be a misdemeanour, replacing two should be a felony. Camrenn was in there too, and it’s the name of a boy. Yes, I know that Cameron can be a perfectly good boy’s name, but only when it’s spelled Cameron. Then again, his other given names were Dinan and Llaguno.
Then there was the unholy trio of Jhace, Wylder, and Jayke, and I thought I had my Bad Baby Names.
But six names from the end of the list came the champion. The bad baby name to end all bad baby names. La creme de la creme. The absolute pinnacle (or nadir, depending on your point of view) of bad baby names.
Are you ready for it? Brace yourselves. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Abcde.
That’s the name.
Abcde.
I’m not making this up.
Abcde.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the stories of immigrant mothers with a tenuous grasp of the English language naming their kid “Nosmo King” because of the “No Smoking” sign they saw in the hospital. There’s also stories of kids being named Chlamydia or Gonorrhea because it “sounded pretty”.
But Abcde?
I mean, how do you pronounce it? “Ab-kuh-duh”? Do you actually speak each letter in turn?
And why in God’s name would you even name your kid this? Bastardizing a pre-existing name is understandable enough, but the first five letters of the alphabet? What the hell is wrong with people?
#1 by Abcde on 29 January 2010 - 2:53 pm
stop hating on my name!
#2 by I like it... on 05 February 2010 - 9:40 pm
Nim wit! Its pronounced Ab-si-dee.
#3 by Kaosa Nyaosi on 12 February 2010 - 9:52 am
do you have suggestions for a unique speacial baby name for my newborn (1.5 days old)
#4 by Robyn on 25 February 2010 - 6:23 pm
I like it too. It’s different. But if I was going to call a kid that I wouldn’t spell it like that, I’d spell it Absody or something like that. Maybe a dog I would spell it Abcde. No-one cares how you spell a dog’s name except its owner.
#5 by Bob on 27 February 2010 - 7:58 am
Boy, they really need to take the Scrabble game away from these sows as they give birth.
#6 by Steve from MN on 08 March 2010 - 4:06 pm
New Rule for today: If you name your child “Shafraxia”, or some similar amalgamation of letters, I get to push you down. If you act offended because I didn’t pronounce it “correctly” (“Its pronounced: ‘Shay-FRAY-shee-ah’”), I get to push you down AND kick you in the kneecap.
#7 by Chelseamae on 17 March 2010 - 1:17 pm
It’s different but it’s not the weirdest thing ever. And if you pronounce it the way “I like it…” Said It’s Not That Terrible. But “Steve from MN” I agree with you. Hahah (:
#8 by Charlie on 13 April 2010 - 12:41 pm
I know someone named Abcde. It’s pronounced (or can be pronounced) ab-si-dee.
I’d never name my own child that =\
#9 by bg on 24 April 2010 - 12:25 pm
Abcde is a very beautiful name, why, because thats my daughter’s name and it rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like the number 108th comment said “stop hatting on my name”
low life mother fucker!
#10 by bg on 24 April 2010 - 12:27 pm
ooops im so mad i mispelled hating as hatting………….
#11 by Kishon on 27 April 2010 - 10:31 am
all ya niggas namin ya babies abcde is trippin. Ya niggas gets some real names like Tyrone or Kisha. Da crack hoe namin dat baby be dumb bitch fo real. what it is namin bitchs afta lettes and shit.
#12 by Roxy on 05 May 2010 - 6:28 pm
It is a little ironic and funny how people are saying they want unique and rare names. By the looks of these comments it isn’t so uncommon. Weirdly spelt names or just plain off names are so common these days.
My future children will stand out due to their lovely personalities, kind manners, amazing brains and stunning good looks, not because of their names!
#13 by u_r_illiterate on 15 May 2010 - 12:20 am
Do you realize how stupid you sound? Where do you get off calling someone else stupid? Have you read your post? Not only are you ghetto as hell and illiterate, the names you listed are hood rat names. You say the girl is stupid for naming her kid after letters, which by the way makes no sense at all, but the names you suggested are far worse. Besides, Abcde sounds better than Shaniqua or some other ghetto as name or idiodic spelling (like Kynadeigh for Kennedy). So there…that’s “what it is”. You should right yourself a note to read what you post before you post it so you don’t make yourself look like a dumbass. The “looking like a dumbass” probably comes easy to you, I bet. I guess you can’t fix stupid.
#14 by Finn on 15 May 2010 - 8:15 am
I agree! My children will be known for the same, Roxy!
#15 by Jake on 24 May 2010 - 2:06 pm
How about the name La-a.
When the teacher asked the students mother how to pronounce it, she said “Ladasha, the dash don’t be silent”
#16 by Mary on 29 May 2010 - 6:49 pm
I can across this because….. I actually saw a poor kid in my daughter’s 5th grade year book with the name Abcde. I mean seriously….. come on!!! Then again…. I was a teacher for many many years and had kids named Tyrina (the ‘y’ was silent); Desseara (pronounced Desiree); Desserta (also pronounced Desiree; the ‘t’ was silent); and the one that everyone seems to wonder if it’s a internet story that goes around…. Female (prnounced fuh-MAH-lee). And in case you’re all wondering, with the exception of Abcde, all the girls were of Caucasion heritage. My poor daughter witht he normal name of Bridget can’t even find pre-printed items with her name on it….what the heck are theses kids gonna do? I’d MUCh rather my daughter’s name be connected with her intelligence and kindness than for some weird ass name that someone thinks is “cute” or “unique”. I’m tellin’ ya… I wouldn’t be hiring an attorney who has one of these “unique” names. My ex-husband had an attorney named “Khrystall”. her ridiculous name was on par with her incompetence. He was completely hosed.
#17 by I HATE RACIST!!!!! on 31 May 2010 - 1:18 pm
Someone is a bit racist?
#18 by Jason on 31 May 2010 - 1:21 pm
Wow. Chill out. Its a trivial internet post. No need to get mad. The person who posted as “Kishon” is obviously trolling you and you clearly fell for it.
#19 by horrorfied! on 31 May 2010 - 7:34 pm
You can have a line of jars on the shelf each called something unique, but guess what, they’re all jars. Its label doesn’t make it special, what’s inside it makes it special.
All this name calling and swearing is really unnecessary.
Abcde (spelt Abcde) is stupid because of the following reasons:
1. No one who is seeing this name for the first time thinks ‘oh this must be pronounced ‘Ab-suh-dee’. People who see a string of letters together think A.B.C.D.E. Teachers, future employers, anyone seeing this name in writing is instantly going to be confused and this is going to cause your child (and yourself) great frustration because instead of realizing the parents are the idiots, the child/parent thinks everyone else are idiots because they cannot pronounce it correctly instantly. So the child is either going to grow up thinking the world is stupid or their parents are, it’s a lose/lose situation.
2. Giving your child a unique name is one thing, spelling it “creatively” again is just stupid. It could be a perfectly good name, it may even be quite ordinary but then it gets all messed up with a fruity spelling. And you know what people do when they hear/see such appalling spelling? They wince. Your child’s name makes people wince. Screw up their face and ask ‘what the hell is wrong with these parents, didn’t they finish high school?’
3. A “unique” name is just lazy parenting. If you are relying only on the name to make your kids memorable, guess what? People are going to remember it alright, but they are going to think ‘gee that Abcde was fat/stupid/ugly. Interesting name though.’
Instead of creating possible self esteem and attitude problems in your children, why not spend a little time with them and instill a sense of self worth, individuality, creativity, ANYTHING worth remembering about person.
And Hannah, there is nothing wrong with your name. It’s a beautiful name in fact. If you feel invisible, then that’s your fault. You must be completely devoid of personality if you think no one would notice another Hannah missing. Step up and be someone actually worth remembering. Relying on your name to do all the work for you is just lazy.
And if you want to be original, it’s not hard. It just takes some time and research. There are many uncommon names sensibly spelled. Anyone can throw letters at a wall and make up how its pronounced. There is nothing creative about it.
#20 by Horrorfied! on 01 June 2010 - 7:28 am
Yes, I spelled ‘horrified’ incorrectly.
#21 by Pissed off god mom on 03 June 2010 - 2:00 am
SERIOUSLY DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR STUPID WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO DISS ON HER NAME! ITS NOT YOUR FUCKING KID SO DONT FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IT! UR JUST SOME NIMWITT WHO HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN HATE ON NAMES OF PEOPLE YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW! GET A FUCKING LIFE AND STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU KNOW SHIT!
#22 by Stanley with a C on 05 June 2010 - 12:34 pm
Horrorfied, right on. I agree with everything you say. These names are so ridiculous! Abcde makes me cringe! People, PLEASE do not try and be unique by giving your child a terrible name… thank you
#23 by horrorfied! on 05 June 2010 - 8:08 pm
Pissed off god mom – Wow… your argument is reasonable and articulate, in the face of such blinding logic, how could I not admit that I was wrong.
#24 by To Many Trolls on 16 June 2010 - 11:51 am
There are so many Trolls in here its not even funny!
Every last one of you are being trolled.
#25 by Stupid Name on 16 June 2010 - 11:56 am
This is a stupid name. Who ever names there child Abcde is the stupidity that is a cancer to society.
#26 by Poor Kid on 16 June 2010 - 11:58 am
That poor child will be made fun of for the rest of their life.
Also, there are way to many trolls in here.
#27 by Nicole on 16 June 2010 - 12:54 pm
Your soooooo dumb. My friend’s name is Abcde. I LOVE that name. It’s pronounced Ab-si-dee btw dumbass. I think its creative to make someone’s name the first five letters of the alphabet
#28 by Rory on 23 June 2010 - 1:34 am
its pronounced Ab-Se-De
#29 by Tydell on 23 June 2010 - 5:27 pm
I’m sure there are different ways of pronouncing it the girl i knew in high school pronounced it AB-suh-duh she was kinda ghetto to so that might have something to do with it lol I also knew a girl named Ashely but she said it was pronounced Ash-a-lay thats a mess too.
#30 by abcde hater absidy lover on 25 June 2010 - 9:15 pm
absidy or abcidee is cute. it’s an adorible name. abcde is stupid and lame. cursing your child with a name as terribly spelled as abcde is just cruel. doing this to your child is lack of imagination, not creative at all.
#31 by Astasia on 29 June 2010 - 1:32 pm
i agree with “abcde hater absidy love” it is a freaken cute name. i love the way it sounds. i just think that the spelling should be different. Lots of children would be made fun of simply because of the spelling of their name. it really isnt fair to do that to a child. And yes, of course there is a small portion of people who wouldn’t mind having that spelling but why would you take the chance? wouldn’t it hurt your feelings if your kid hating the name you gave them so much they changed it? And then blame the other children who cant applicative the “artistic” name that is so “unique” and “original”? and all this could have been avoided if you just spelled the name different. what a shame.
#32 by tim on 30 June 2010 - 2:52 am
My friends sister actually named her daughter abcde… she pronounces it abyss-city wich is acually a cool sounding name maybe if you acually spelled the word out but ur right just putting abcde is just being a jackass to your kid, dooming them to a life of a very shitty name
#33 by Madison on 08 July 2010 - 3:39 pm
It’s hard enough to be a kid, but then parents have to torture there kids with horrid names. I don’t know why parent’s feel the need to give there kid these so called “unique” names. Anyways, I think I know an even worse name. I go to school with a boy named… this is truly horrible…Kike. Yes, Kike. Either these boys parent’s are like the people who named their kid Aryan Race (racists), or the parent’s who named their kid Chlamydia (it sounded pretty), or they were just idiots who didn’t know that it was an ethnic slur.
#34 by Alexandria on 11 July 2010 - 8:13 am
Thats so funny i love the name, actually its been number one on our list. and many like it. its cool. my hunsband is iffy of it but you got to be open minded. everyone i have told it to is fine with it its cool to know someone else has it.
#35 by mackenz on 16 July 2010 - 12:07 pm
i love that name. and who doesnt know its pronounced ab-si-dee. der.
#36 by Moose Maniac on 06 August 2010 - 10:09 am
I find it very ironic that a lot of those people calling the parents stupid here can’t write to save their lives. “Caucasion”? “There” instead of “their”? “Parent’s” instead of “parents”? “Its” instead of “it’s”?
I suggest you all take your English lessons a little more seriously. If you’re out of school, or as someone else here claimed, are a TEACHER, then I suggest you go back to school to get a better education. When you write like crap, it makes you look like a moron. I am sick of seeing idiots typing like idiots and then claiming to be intelligent, and when I point out their mistakes they say I’m the stupid one. Freaking retards.
#37 by Dad on 10 September 2010 - 6:40 pm
The name is pretty and intresting. People who think you cannot spell names differently are confused about what a name is for. They are meant to be unique identifiers. Unique names are remembered more on applications, lists etc. They will still be noticed based on merit. Thinking that you must spell names the “normal” way is very narrow-minded. But those who do are not lemmings or uncreative, they simply like the name they like. I know a physician who named his child Abcde. He is probably one of the most intelligent and socially adept people I have ever mrt
#38 by Mike on 20 September 2010 - 9:15 am
So, if Abcde is so great, where’s Fghijk (Fu-jik, the J is silent?), Lmnop, Qrst (Kirs-T ?), and Uvwxyz ??
And yeah, fire away at how boring “Mike” is… at least people don’t need to ask me how it’s pronounced or spelled! :-) People can’t seem to spell my last name and I’m forever correcting them, so having a ‘boring’ first name is just fine, thank you very much.
#39 by dang on 13 October 2010 - 6:34 am
I agree its a crazy name and a sign of lazy parents. Better watch out Mike you’re going to spark some new names by more lazy parents.
#40 by Theresa on 15 October 2010 - 9:03 am
BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best answer so far!
#41 by AAh-yes on 16 October 2010 - 8:44 am
….. I’m sorry,…. did you say your name was ‘Obesity’?….
#42 by Mary on 26 October 2010 - 9:27 pm
How about Spechelle?
#43 by abcdef on 31 October 2010 - 2:32 pm
thats a retarded name
#44 by Keightlon on 02 November 2010 - 7:55 pm
I think it’s a beautiful name, and it’s pronounced Ab-Sa-Dee. Why do you have to be so mean? That’s someone’s name. At least it’s not insulting or just plane stupid (Gonorrhea, Nosmo King) and you say that something creative and pretty it that terrible? You must be on somthing.
Get a life, for God’s sake!
#45 by hope on 23 December 2010 - 5:44 pm
i think Abcd is a beautiful name as well lovely when i heard i thought wow everyone who disses this name should rethink it because there is something magical about it. Like it is the name of a fairy or a princess or something beautiful
#46 by Jett on 20 January 2011 - 3:45 pm
Oh man, really, that’s crazy of course. Some names that are actually names that might sound weird to others are Weayaya and for girls Rananah. I don’t know I thought that was interesting.
#47 by karly on 22 January 2011 - 5:56 pm
omg! you are such THE moron! hating on a name you had no idea how it was pronounced…the immigrants are even smarter than you! they might not speak english but you do and totally suck!
#48 by Jimbo on 05 February 2011 - 4:28 pm
You do realize that was said with total sarcasm… Dummy
#49 by My name is not Abcde on 18 February 2011 - 12:27 pm
HAHAHA!!!! Yeah! Everyone who fell for it got trolld so hard! FAIL!
#50 by George Bush on 23 March 2011 - 4:14 pm
I do not believe there are any trolls on here. I have talked with Dick Cheney about this, and we both agree that there are no trolls on this post. Good day, I am off to prepare for my reelection. I wonder what country I will decide to invade next time, probably Iran, because that sounds similar to Iraq.