canspice.org

home about code feeds archives links

Archive for December 2005

Beer Not Kids, not Kids Not Beer!

The Canadian 2006 General Election has, like most Canadian elections, been a little on the dull side. There haven’t been many occurrances of foot-in-mouth disease that I’ve seen.

A notable exception came from Scott Reid, Prime Minister Paul Martin’s director of communications. In attacking the Conservative Party’s plan to give families of young children $1200 a year for child care, Reid said,

Don’t give people 25 bucks a week to blow on beer and popcorn.

He’s probably right, but since it’s Canada and we’re all nice and stuff he’s since apologized, but Rick Mercer has something to say about that:

In case you have been living under a rock and missed it, Scott recently quipped that under the plan parents could choose to spend their 25 dollar a week child care allowance on beer instead of child care. Clearly Scott is wrong. We all know that in this country it would be impossible to find a parent who would spend 25 bucks a week on beer. For starters a case of beer costs more than 25 bucks. A case of domestic is about 35 bucks and the trendier imports cost even more. I happen to know this because I drink beer. I don’t have kids so I have no idea what child care costs. I admit I’m surprised that 25 bucks a week will pay for daycare but what do I know.

– and –

Remember: children may be our greatest resource but beer is our greatest beverage.

And besides if it wasn’t for beer most of these kids wouldn’t have been born anyway.

Mercer also has a petition up at beernotkids.com in protest of the overly-sappy and outright incorrect kidsnotbeer.com, who say,

Maybe your aides don’t have children of their own, but those of us that have children know this: No parent, not a single one, in this country would spend money designated for child care, and given to them for that reason, on beer or popcorn.

Living in the ghetto like I do, I know plenty of parents who’d be willing to prove this knucklehead wrong. They’re the ones yelling at their kids, “YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO FUCKING RESPECT ME!” or “YOU MAKE MY LIFE A FUCKING HELL!” Sure, they’re American parents, but I’d be shocked if there weren’t any parents like that in the vast country that is Canada.

Yes, this campaign is all about beer, and it’s a wise candidate who doesn’t piss off the beer drinkers. After all, in the ‘72 Summit Series those damned Soviets stole our beer and we kicked their asses for it. Don’t mess with a Canadian’s beer.

“Hello, 911.” “What is the capital of the new territory up north, Nunavut?”

You know how 911 is an emergency number? A number you call in case of emergency? A number you call to get in touch with emergency services like the police or the fire department? Emergency emergency emergency?

Well apparently some dumbasses think it’s for general trivia questions. Seriously now, calling 911 to find out what the capital of Nunavut is? Complaining about road signs that say “Speed Kills” — but not to complain that they’re distracting or fallen down or on fire or anything, but complaining that speed doesn’t kill, it’s the sudden stop that kills? Or calling to get the number of a cell phone company?

What the hell is wrong with people?

Joe Thornton traded to San Jose

Joe Thornton gets traded from the lowly Bruins to the lowly Sharks. Methinks Geof is going to be pissed.

No Super Aguri F1

Alas, Super Aguri F1 is missing from the 2006 F1 World Championship entry list, although they may be able to enter if the other 10 teams vote to allow them race.