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I got a natural inclination, I got nothing against it, I got nothing against my generation.

I hope I don’t die before I get old, I really hope I don’t catch a cold, I hope this general malaise doesn’t catch hold.

Yeah, I wasn’t born in a manger, I wasn’t born yesterday. I wish I was a forest ranger, I’d ride around on my horse all day, and put out illegal fires, put your garbage in the trash can, treat the forest with respect.

I’d be a, a man in a beige suit, I’d lean on my post, now that the morning’s over, it’s time to let them sprinklers hose.

I got a new bike, it’s done in the Dutch style. I’m gonna take it home with me, I’ll make my neighbours smile. They’ll say “Hey look at the rock star, he’s driving his bicycle that he got in The Netherlands…” Nothing rhymes with bicycle.

I got me thirteen children, I’m going for some kind of record, because otherwise how do we know joy? And I can’t think of anything that rhymes with record.

I wanna be like Gerard Depardieu. I wanna go to film festivals. I wanna drink martinis out of women’s bellybuttons. And nothing rhymes with festival.

Man, why do I keep going with these three-syllable words?

Okay, I’ve wasted enough of your time, we’re way past the curfew, they’re going to release the dogs in about two minutes, doberman pinschers, belgian sheepdogs, german shepherds, rottweilers, pitbulls, all manner of killing machine, grizzly bears and cougars, and, and angry housewives and generally bratty children and they all come in and they’ll gobble you up and send you on a… fuck it, okay, good-bye, good night, thank you to [unknown] and thanks to the Tivoli, and thanks to you and thanks to me and have a great summer and don’t let the bedbugs bite and take care of each other.

Pale as a lightbulb, hanging on a wi… Oh yeah, and say hi to Dave the merchandise guy. On your way out. He’s gonna sail around the world. By himself. He’s got plans. You can see it in his eyes.

– Performed by The Tragically Hip at Tivoli in Utrecht, Netherlands on 12 May 1997.