The people have spoken: as of 10:02 pm Hawaii Standard Time, the Baddest Baby Name for 2006 is…
Espn! With 11 of 41 votes, Espn beat out Skailey by a scant three votes. Amazingly enough, both Keyz and Ryllei received zero votes, so they get a special designation of Bad Bad Baby Names.
Congrats to all the losers! Your prizes will come when you get teased and taunted at school. Huzzah!
Because the Hawaii Tribune-Herald are a bunch of slave-drivers, we received a paper today, Christmas morning. And since it’s a Monday, that means Bad Baby Names!
Desade’s parents must have been big fans of Donatien Alphonse François.
Tytenn’s parents must have been morons. Same goes for Xayden’s parents, Kaelee-Rae’s parents, Thayden’s parents, and Jonelyn’s parents.
But the Christmas turkey is Jet’aime. Clearly her parents have some tiny bit of education, as they know a smidgen of French, but to cram two words together (well, three if you count t’ to be a word) and make a name out of it, that’s ridiculous. Hopefully Jet’aime doesn’t go to France or Quebec.
p.p.s. Happy Christmas from Bad Baby Name Headquarters!
With two weeks to go in 2006, it’s time to unveil an all-new Annual Tradition here at Bad Baby Names Headquarters: the Baddest Baby Name of the Year poll! Here are the candidates:
Qwuincey - Representing the finest in grammatical errors, Qwuincey’s parents decided to flaut hundreds of years of linguistical tradition and break up the Q-U marriage. But that’s not the worst of it: in the comments some imbecile named Quinsey managed to figure out how to use a keyboard and leave not one but three comments saying that “this is a stuiped webkite”.
Espn - Mandy Espn Race must have had morons for parents. Oh wait, that’s a given around here. Mandy Espn Race must have had sports fan morons for parents.
Keyz - The frontrunner for that week, but only for the comedy routine value.
Ryllei - An all-around bad name.
Skailey - A poor kid who’s doomed to years of trauma on the schoolyard and years of therapy after that.
A.J.-Isly-Ander-Brown - A triple-hyphen attack. That’s horrendous.
DaVon-Tré - A hyphen, capitalizing in the middle of the name, and an ultra-pretentious accent. Kudos, DaVon-Tré’s parents! You’re morons!
Madylynroe-Kealani - She won this week only because Robynnelee wasn’t a baby.
So there you have it! Eight bad baby names, and it’s up to my loyal readers to pick which one is the Baddest Baby Name of 2006. You’re allowed to vote once a day, and the polls will close on December 31. Get voting!
Linksys, not Apple, owns the “iPhone” trademark, and they put it to good use today, announcing the iPhone family of VoIP solutions. Normally I wouldn’t write about this sort of thing, but recent shenanigans from Hawaiian Telcom have lead us to seriously consider dropping our landline (or paring it back to the bare minimum, as my workplace pays for it) in favour of Skype. Our sole hesitation to moving is that we’d have to leave the computer on to accept calls over Skype.
No longer! The Linksys CIT400 is a Skype phone that doesn’t need a computer! Oh happy day!
The only rub is that its MSRP is $180, although Amazon.com has it for $153.
Either the baby names in Hilo are getting better or I’m getting less sensitive to them, because I didn’t think today’s crop of Bad Baby Names was particularly bad. Mrs. CanSpice thought there were at least two worthy of “Oh my God”. What does my faithful reader think?
Madylynroe-Kealani not only breaks out the Y’s, she also shoves two names that shouldn’t be shoved together (Madylyn and Roe — what is she, fish eggs?), and tops it all off with a hyphen. Contrats, Madylynroe-Kealani!
Jaxyn… I don’t know what to say. It’s just horrible. It’s one thing to replace ‘cks’ with ‘x’, and I guess ‘Jaxon’ would just be a stupid name, so let’s replace that ‘o’ with a ‘y’. Yeah, that’s a good idea!
Jahslyn is bad.
And let’s not forget the stereotypical Madisyn. Oh yes, Madisyn made an appearance today as well.
Alright, today’s crop wasn’t too bad. But I think today’s Baddest Baby Name wasn’t a baby name at all — it comes from today’s list of citizens arrested and charged, printed daily in the Trib.
So today’s Bad Baby Name goes to Robynnelee, who not only gets charged with failure to appear, but also the The South Lives On But Too Bad I’m Female Or Else I Could Have A Proper Tribute Name Award.
