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Precious is a fairly standard Bad Baby Name. It’s normally not bad enough to make it to this column, but every now and then a baby comes along with parents who think they’re being original and cute. They’re actually being stupid and condemning their kid to a life of misery. Today’s precious little loser is Preshess.

And of course there has to be the standard monstrosyty. This week’s is Kayzlyn, which isn’t even a good name if you replace the Ys with proper vowels and not those waffling “I don’t know if I’m a vowel or a consonent” Ys.

But today’s Bad Baby Name winner is Ocean Reef Butts. It doesn’t need any explanation, it stands on its own. Congratulation, Ocean Reef Butts!