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This week is a week to end all weeks. We’ve got crappy names, we’ve got cross-gendering names, and we’ve got straight from the hood names. Let’s go!

First up, the crappy names. Aaliya is a garden-variety crappy name. I don’t think they crammed enough A’s in there. Really. Following along in the “cramming too much crap into one name” tradition, we have little Anaizya-Marley Alize-Michie Aiu-Horie. And I left out the 23-letter middle name! This is, I believe, the first triple-double in this history of the Bad Baby Names column. Congratulations!

Next up, two names for boys that really struck me as girls’ names: Shaysen and Zayde-Jordan. I suppose Shaysen is how idiots would spell Jason, so that works. But Zayde-Jordan?

And then there’s Jetson. Either the parents are fans of the cartoon, the father’s name is Jet, or they’re idiots. My money’s on the latter.

But this week’s Baddest Baby Name is a runaway winner. There’s not even any contest. Introducing little Aiz’n Soljah Boy! Can anybody in their right mind explain to me why someone would name their kid Aiz’n Soljah Boy? It’s a fine name if you’re a retarded rapper, but they even misspelled his name! And their last name is Portuguese! They’re not even asian!

[tags]bad baby names[/tags]