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This week’s list of baby names was quite a bit shorter than average, but the Bad Baby Names were distilled down into whiskey-level awesomeness. Let’s get to it!

We start off gently with Damin. Not a particularly Bad Baby Name, but we have to start off lightly to get us in the spirit of things. This is why I’m introducing Tayden early as well. See, they’re bad, but not that bad.

Not compared to, say, Shelcey-Lyn or KaianaLee. Now we’re getting somewhere! We’re continued on our merry little path with Chassee (perhaps Chasser is her brother?) and Shaylie.

Can someone tell me how to pronounce either Mikeilah or Alajshae? Mike-eye-lah? Mik-aye-lah? Al-aj-shay? Stoo-pid?

And then we get into our Biblical Bad Baby Names. Passion isn’t particularly bad, but Exodus is. Why would you name your son Exodus?

To top things off we have Lizandro, which sounds like someone out of a bodice ripper. “Lizandro stood before her, his proud head erect, his leonine mane thrown into relief by the flares flanking the large doors. For one suspended moment, they stared at each other, love, hope, and remembered pain reflected over and over between them.”