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Hello Bad Baby Names devotees! It’s been a while since I’ve brought you the baddest of the baby names, as I’ve been off on vacation for the past month. Luckily (or unluckily!) for us, the Tribune-Herald offered up the largest collection of baby names I’ve ever seen. This means that this week quantity trumps quality, but some of the Bad Baby Names are still quite bad.

We’ll kick things off with my favourites, the Y Brygade! There’s Shaleyah, Kayden, Shayde, Izayah, Mavryk, Kolby, Kyston, Blayne, Kysen, Jaydin, Peityn, and Gavyn. Their leader is the illustrious Shayden-Sione. Her parents missed a golden opportunity to have a double-barrelled Y Brigade daughter, though! Come on, it could have been Shayden-Syone!

There were two sets of twins born, too. Only one of them had bad names though: Passion and Patience. How precious. How sweet. How absolutely disgusting.

I have to think little August was named that because his parents are idiots and would forget when he was born otherwise. “When’s your birthday, August?” “Yes.” The jokes write themselves.

Little Beau wins the “I Would Have Had A Boy’s Name Had They Spelled It Bo But My Parents Decided To Tart Shit Up And Now I Need A Sex Change Operation” prize.

And today’s winner is Tullimwar KS Jr. Casio. That’s his full name. Note the awesome first name. Note the use of initials for the second name. Note how his third name is “Jr.” Normally “Jr” comes last. Oh no, not in the Casio family, they’re bucking the trend!