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For reasons unknown to me, the Trib published the vital statistics column today, a Sunday, instead of on its regular Monday schedule. That means you don’t get to start the work week with Bad Baby Names. Instead you get to leisure over them during a lazy Sunday!

Marysa and Shaylyn are the traditional Y-attack names. While bad, these are getting to be a little old and tired.

Luckily Xayton was born to come wake us up. Xayton sounds like a name from the future, possibly the name of an evil robot overlord. In that sense it’s a cool name, but it’s no name I’d want to saddle a little boy with.

The emotional favourites for today don’t really have a bad name, they’re just appropriate for the day. Two sets of parents named their kids Angel. One boy, one girl. Isn’t that nauseating?

But the winner is Ja’miesha. Complete with apostrophe. Jamiesha isn’t even a good name on its own, but throwing in that apostrophe brings things to a whole new level. In Hawaii the ʻokina is used to represent a glottal stop. Does this mean that we’re supposed to pronounce Ja’miesha with a glottal stop in there? Or were the parents just idiots and thought that their little girl’s name would look pretty with an apostrophe (it’s not even an ʻokina because Jamiesha isn’t anywhere near Hawaiian)? I vote the latter.