AE Living Being speaking-
voicingz on Solar
Calendar 10th week
7th dae, year 2035
(January 1, 2009)
“…SupAErsAEdAEnz
WhrAEt…”
“…(Superseding Writ)…”
affirming confirming
“CORPORATION-S” is-are
non-eisting “ARTIFICIAL
BEING-S” therefore is-
are in fact void now as
in the beginning here- in
Godz Kingdom. Therefore
in face All “DEBT- Debt”
to- from- for- by
“CORPORATION-S” is-
are Void- “PAID IN FULL”
here- in All Encompassingz
Living Beingz- Godz Body-
Kingdom

Got that?

Perl would be Voodoo – An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night.

You cannot believe how many goats I’ve had to sacrifice over the past six years.

What songs would you listen to while giving someone the zaps? My favourites would be “Ride The Lightning” by Metallica, “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC, and “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin.

Looking at your belly after eating too many cheeseburgers is one of those purely reflexive things that you do, as if to confirm that you did eat too much. The sight of your belly hanging over your size too small pants is an instant confirmation of your prosperity and well being, but with his much thinner and in-shape younger brother Jim there, Rick couldn’t help feeling envious. He’d start eating right and exercising now and again, but working a desk job and being a fan of baseball and football wasn’t especially conducive to a healthy lifestyle. In the end, it always came back to this; come the next holiday gathering, Rick would be the fat and prosperous one, Santa Claus for all seasons. “And so what if I am,” Rick muttered to himself.

“So what if you’re what?”

“Oh,” Rick patted his belly and smiled at Jim. “The big brother.” The two of them shared a laugh. It had been the other way around when they were younger. Rick was athletic and healthy, and Jim was small and out of shape.

“Your problem is that you married a damned fine cook.”

“Thank you, Jimmy, it’s nice that someone notices.” Alice said smiling and poking Rick in the ribs. “Your brother raves about my cooking anyway.”

“Come on, sweetheart, you know you make the best food I’ve ever had,” Rick said, and then kissed her quickly.

“And I suppose I’m chopped liver?” Kate said with a half smile, trying her very best to affect hurt at her husband’s remark.

“Not at all sweetie,” Jim said, kissing her. “I was just complimenting our gracious hostess’ hospitality.”

“Well maybe you’ll still get some sex tonight then.”

“Kate!” Alice half laughed, half gasped. “The kids!”

“Yeah you two, get a room.”

“How are Pete and Mary anyway, big brother?”

“They’re good. Doing real good. Pete just started fifth grade, and he’s excited because that means computer science, and Mary just started second grade, and they’ve moved her into gifted. Or accelerated learning, or whatever they call it these days. How about yours?”

“Scott? He’s good. He’s in fourth, hates his art teacher, loves his science and music teachers. Wow, so Mary’s in gifted?”

“Yes,” Alice made a vain attempt to keep herself from beaming, but her maternal pride was unmistakable. “They said she was reading at the seventh grade level, and she was just breezing through math…”

“So they decided that she needed more of a challenge,” Rick picked up the narrative. “They’re going to start testing her tomorrow to see just how far ahead she is.”

“Wow, that sounds serious. Great. Good to hear. Man, if only mom and dad were here for this.”

“Oh God, they would be so happy to know that one of their grandkids, at least, was a genius.” The two of them laughed hard. “Do you remember back when I was a freshman in high school, and Mom asked what happened, and I told her that they had the awards ceremony, and she asked me if I had got any awards, and when I told her no, it was for seniors, she told me that was no excuse.”

“Or when I graduated summa from college,” Jim said, trying to catch his breath. “And she wanted to know why I wasn’t valedictorian.”

“Don’t worry, sweetie, you were close,” Kate said, kissing him on the forehead.

Alice bit her lip for a moment. “I know it’ll sound horrible, but I think I’m glad she’s not around for this, I don’t know if I would want Mary to have that kind of pressure,” she said at last.

“Yeah, mom certainly knew how to lay it on thick when she wanted to…” his thought was cut short by a chorus of “is not” and “is so” coming from where the kids were playing. The parents swarmed over, trying to stop a fight that they all knew would bring a quick end to the holiday barbecue. “Okay, kids, what’s going on?”

“Mary says that Nine-Eleven day is for September eleventh, but that doesn’t make sense, and she won’t believe me!” Scott said eagerly.

“It does too!” Mary proudly declared. “It means September eleven. What else could it mean?”

“Yeah, but today’s the twelfth, dummy!”

“Scott! Don’t talk to your cousin that way,” his mother made an attempt to take it down a notch.

“She’s right, anyway,” his father added.

“See!” Mary sang, before sticking out her tongue.

“Well then why is it called Nine-Eleven Day?” Scott looked at the ground and shuffled his feet, trying to recover some of his pride.

“Well, it’s not actually called Nine-Eleven Day, sweetie,” his mother tried consoling him. “What is it? Like citizen day, or hero day, or something?”

“Terrorist Day.” Alice said.

“Patriot Day,” Rick corrected.

“Well then why do we call it Nine-Eleven Day?” Pete asked.

“Well,” Jim began, trying to remember history lessons that these children would be sitting through in a few years. “I think it’s because some terrorist blew up a building or something. What? Sixty years ago?”

“That’s right. The Freedom Center,” said Rick.

“Except back then they called it the World Trade Tower,” Kate corrected.

“Well why do we celebrate it on the twelfth?” Pete was by now thoroughly confused.

“It’s a federal holiday, sweetie,” Alice said. “Which means that the people who make the calendar pick either a Monday or a Friday closest to the eleventh of September. It’s so we can have a long weekend.”

“Why don’t we just celebrate it on the eleventh?” Scott sensed the chance to salvage his dignity. Losing an argument was bad enough, but losing one to a girl was unacceptable.

“Because then we wouldn’t have a long weekend,” Mary said. “Aren’t you listening?”

“Mary, don’t be mean to your cousin.”

“Sorry, daddy.”

“And Scott, well, look at it this way. The eleventh was yesterday, right? And you would have Sunday off anyway, right?”

“Yes, Uncle Rick.”

“And that means that you wouldn’t get a day off if we celebrated it on the eleventh. It doesn’t matter why you have the day off from school, does it?”

“No.”

“Okay,” Alice said. “Now that that’s settled, does anyone want any more food?”

“Can we have some ice cream?” Pete asked eagerly.

“How about we stop for some after the fireworks tonight, instead?” Alice’s suggestion met with eager approval from everyone. The kids returned to playing somewhat peacefully, and the adults started cleaning up the grill. If they wanted a good spot for the fireworks, they would have to leave in an hour or so, and they all wanted the chance to enjoy as much of Nine-Eleven Day as they could.

Please, remember this Nine-Eleven Day and celebrate by playing Jenga.

Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day, and the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do! And if you do any of these ten things he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever until the end of time. But he loves you!

• So, what cologne do you use? You smell really good.
• Have you upgraded to Vista yet, or are you waiting for SP1 too?
• C# …. great programming language … or greatest?
• Have you ever thought of giving more of your money away, say to other people on stage with you right now?
• Open source is great, everything should be open source. Including your budgets. Give me commit access to your financials, would you?
• Ubuntu is too hard to say. Why don’t you go with something easy, like 7?

Questions courtesy gnat on IRC.

[draw] attention to the growing problem of political interference in federal government science on issues as diverse as drug safety and global warming.

You can go vote for your favourite cartoon. I voted for #2.

Voting runs until July 23, 2007, so get your votes in!

Before I get started, I’m going to give you the opportunity to duck out right now. I know that some people get offended by gallows humour, and this post is gallows humour. If you read this post and take offence, well, screw you, I warned you.

Right then, let’s get to it.

Top Ten Songs in honour of Hurricane Katrina:

1. Going Nowhere – Andrea Parker (dedicated to those stuck in gridlock trying to evacuate)
2. You Could Feel The Sky – Boards Of Canada
3. Breakin’ Up The House – Colin James and the Little Big Band
4. Look Happy, It’s The End Of The World – Matthew Good Band
5. A Common Disaster – Cowboy Junkies
6. It Can’t Rain All The Time – Jane Siberry
7. Alert Status Red – Matthew Good
8. Evacuation – Pearl Jam
9. When The Levee Breaks – Led Zeppelin
10. New Orleans Is Sinking – The Tragically Hip

Also, I hear that the mayor of New Orleans has declared a fatwa against Katrina and the Waves.