The Union of Concerned Scientists is holding an editorial cartoon contest to:
[draw] attention to the growing problem of political interference in federal government science on issues as diverse as drug safety and global warming.
You can go vote for your favourite cartoon. I voted for #2.
Voting runs until July 23, 2007, so get your votes in!
Before I get started, I’m going to give you the opportunity to duck out right now. I know that some people get offended by gallows humour, and this post is gallows humour. If you read this post and take offence, well, screw you, I warned you.
Right then, let’s get to it.
Top Ten Songs in honour of Hurricane Katrina:
Also, I hear that the mayor of New Orleans has declared a fatwa against Katrina and the Waves.
It’s a sad thing when an innocent life is dragged deep into despair and misery. Alcohol, drugs, sex, these things are toxic to the naive. I have a story to tell. I’ll call it Requiem For A Duck.
It started out innocently enough. I’d come home to find Duckie drinking beer.
He really seemed to get into it, but he still had his job at the carwash and wasn’t getting into any trouble.
I let him be.
Then he moved into illegal things.
He tried to explain it by making up a story about chronic pain.
I didn’t buy it, as his other cure for this “chronic pain” was to sit around all day and watch TV.
He’d lost his job at the carwash, but he somehow kept paying his share of the bills, so I let him be.
As a side-effect of his pot habit we always seemed to have a lot of chips around.
I guess he just got the munchies.
Occasionally I found him using my computer.
Invariably it was mother/daughter duck porn.
He always tried to cover it up, but I knew. Oh I knew.
This went on for a couple of months. I began to suspect he was getting into deeper and darker things, but he never brought any troubles home with him when he stumbled in at 2:30 each night.
One Saturday afternoon I got out of the shower to find him making a phone call.
I looked closer.
Duckie and I had an argument that night. He stormed out and didn’t come back for three days.
A couple of weeks later I came back to some strange noises from the bedroom
I pulled back the covers…
…and found him…
…in bed with some whore.
Another argument, broken dishes. Duckie was gone for a week.
He came back apologetic. I didn’t trust him, but what choice did I have? He was a friend, so I let him come back. Things were going well for a couple of months.
Then I came home and found this.
There was no denying it, he’d gone too far.
I ordered him out…
…and he went.
He turned back to say something…
…but I didn’t care. I wanted him out of my life, and he was.
I didn’t hear from him for six months. One day I came home to a jimmied lock. Not good. I went into my apartment and found a letter addressed to me.
I opened it.
“Good bye creul world…. Duckie never was a good spell… DUCKIE!”
I was too late.
I was too late.
Alright, so I ballsed-up my prediction that Kerry could win, and we’ve got another four years of a Bush presidency. Whoops.
Here are a few predictions for the coming four years:
1. The Democrats decide to try to confuse the voting public by going back to the name “Republican Party”.
2. Canada becomes a right-wing country as all the American “liberals” flee the US.
3. The 2004-2005 NHL season is cancelled. Bush is blamed.
4. Reports of spontaneous head explosions increase ten-fold. Victims span the political spectrum, as Republican heads explode in anger and Republican heads explode in ego.
5. George W. Bush burns down a church filled with disabled war veterans in Alabama and that state still votes Republican for president. Republicans (are you confused yet?) chastise themselves for forgetting to plant cute fluffy bunnies in the church. (Hello Amy!)
6. Americans discover that gasoline is cheaper than beer and start sniffing gas for recreational purposes. Anheuser-Busch merges with Shell.
7. The 2005-2006 NHL season is cancelled. Bush is blamed. Bob Goodenow is proclaimed Public Enemy #1 in Canada and Paul Martin declares a jihad against him.
