Archive for category Sports

Massa “could have been a World Champion”

So Felipe Massa is pissed off about Singapore 2008, where Renault’s Nelson Piquet intentionally crashed, allowing teammate Fernando Alonso to take the victory because of a refueling strategy that relied on that crash.

Massa ended up finishing 13th in Singpore, out of the points, and he lost the championship by one point.

What Massa is forgetting is that there were seventeen other races that year. He won six of them, so there were eleven other opportunities to get that one point. Let’s take a look at some of those where he stood a good chance to get that point.

Might as well start with the first race of the season, Australia. Massa qualified fourth but in the first lap he spun off. On the 26th lap he collided with David Coulthard, and he eventually bowed out with engine failure. Hard to say how many points he would have received, given I can’t find what place he was in when he retired, but he probably wouldn’t have got any given his spin and accident would have put him well out of the points.

Malaysia looked promising as Massa qualified on pole. He got jumped by teammate Kimi Raikkonen in the pits, but was racing a strong second until he spun on lap 30 and retired. I would count this as eight points lost.

Must we go on? He’s already lost eight points, more than enough to have won the championship. And that’s only after the first two races of the season! Let’s go on anyhow.

In the Canadian Grand Prix Massa was having a pretty good race. In his words, he was “fighting for a place on the podium.” A refuelling problem on lap 19 meant he had to make one extra stop. He finished fifth. Fourth was probably his had he not had the refuelling problem, and third was also possible. Let’s just say he would have finished fourth and give him one extra point.

The British GP can be summed up by this sentence: “Felipe Massa had an awful weekend and spun no fewer than five times in the race and finished in 13th place.” It was a wet race, admittedly, but other top drivers didn’t spin five times.

How about the Hungarian Grand Prix? Massa was leading comfortably when his engine gave up on lap 68 of 70. Ten points lost because of mechanical failure.

In Japan Massa ran into Lewis Hamilton and received a drive-through penalty for his efforts. He finished seventh. Drive-through penalties typically add about 20 seconds to a driver’s time (maybe more, maybe less), and given Massa finished only seven seconds behind Sebastien Vettel, one could possibly assume that he could have finished sixth, gaining a point.

There you have it. Twenty possible points Massa could have picked up. Nine of those are solely because of driver error. If you’re looking for your missing points, Felipe, look at yourself instead of trying to blame Renault. Of course, there’s always someone else to blame, isn’t there? There’s mechanical unreliability, bumpy tracks, too many cars in the pitlane so you can’t see that the pitlane exit light is red… Like Keith Collantine said, Massa “should pay more attention to the deficiencies in his driving that caused him to throw points away.”

Bad Baseball Player Names: Cleveland Indians Edition

A couple of weeks ago I was in Pittsburgh for YAPC. While there I decided to catch a Pittsburgh Pirates game. They were playing the Cleveland Indians, whose starting shortstop is Jhonny Peralta.

The first time he came up to bat some fan yelled out, “Hey Jhonny, you spelled your name wrong!”

My sympathizers are out there.

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Q: “What event would best replace the Grand Prix of Montreal?”

A:

One less reason to watch Formula One in 2009

The Canadian Grand Prix has been dropped from the 2009 Formula One calendar. Why? Who the hell knows. Instead it gets replaced by the Turkish Grand Prix.

CBC Anthem Challenge’s leading entry is awesome

Remember back a month and a half ago when the CBC lost the rights to the Hockey Night in Canada theme song? Well, to make up for this outrage the CBC started a contest called Canada’s Hockey Anthem Challenge. Anybody could submit a song that would become the new HNiC theme song. And over 1200 songs have been submitted to date.

But if you look at the entries and sort by rating, you’ll find that only one song has a score higher than 2/5. That song is Hockey Scores:

Like James Mirtle said, “It’s about time bizarre hockey-stick limbed creations got their due.” Damn straight.

Why Canadians Hate Toronto

The National Post is running a live blog for the 2008 NHL Entry Draft. The second paragraph reads:

You can read about some of the top prospects here and see what some of the Canadian teams are planning for the draft weekend here.

You’d think that second link would lead to a story about Canada’s NHL teams, right? Maybe a paragraph or two dedicated to each team?

Oh no, not from the Toronto-based National Post. It’s an entire article about the Toronto Maple Leafs.

This is why Canadians hate Toronto.

SHOCK! OUTRAGE! GNASHING OF TEETH!

From the CBC:

One of this country’s most familiar tunes may have been heard on CBC-TV for the last time Wednesday night when the Detroit Red Wings defeated the Pittsburgh Penguins and won the 2008 Stanley Cup.

The Toronto agency representing the composer of the theme tune for Hockey Night in Canada says the CBC has declined to enter into a new licensing agreement for the song for next NHL season.

A news release posted on the website of Copyright Music & Visuals quotes company president John Ciccone as saying the CBC’s licence agreement for the hockey theme song ended with the Stanley Cup final.

The CBC “has advised the composer, owner and administrator of the musical composition that it is not prepared to enter into a new licence agreement with respect to the use of the theme,” the release says.

The CBC had no immediate comment Thursday.

The familiar theme music for Hockey Night in Canada was written in 1968 by Dolores Claman, who was raised in Vancouver.

In the news release, Claman expresses her disappointment that her song will no longer be heard in homes across Canada during hockey season.

“I am saddened by the decision of the CBC to drop the Hockey Night in Canada theme after our lengthy history together. I nevertheless respect its right to move in a new direction,” she says.

Copyright Music & Visuals says it had offered the CBC a chance to renew its licence to use her song on terms that were “virtually identical to those that have existed for the past decade.” Each use of the song in the past has cost the broadcaster about $500, the company says.

The singing engine.

In the vein of things making music that normally don’t, like Tesla coils, I present a Renault Formula One V10 singing God Save The Queen:

If that doesn’t whet your appetite, how about La Marseillaise?

Formula One: Describe each driver in one word.

F1 Fanatic played this game and I thought I would too. I haven’t looked at their choices, so I’m interested to see how opinions match. Here goes, in 2007 Championship points order:

  1. Kimi Raikkonen – opposite
  2. Lewis Hamilton – future
  3. Fernando Alonso – headstrong
  4. Felipe Massa
  5. Nick Heidfeld – fourth
  6. Robert Kubica – crash
  7. Heikki Kovalainen – young
  8. Giancarlo Fisichella – fragile
  9. Nico Rosberg – younger
  10. David Coulthard – chin
  11. Alexander Wurz – tester
  12. Mark Webber – unlucky
  13. Jarno Trulli – muddled
  14. Sebastien Vettel – upcoming
  15. Jenson Button – yesterday
  16. Ralf Schumacher – retire
  17. Takuma Sato – prone
  18. Vitantonio Liuzzi – bling
  19. Adrian Sutil
  20. Rubens Barrichello – poor
  21. Scott Speed – americanscottspeedfrommantecacalifornia
  22. Kazuki Nakajima
  23. Anthony Davidson
  24. Sakon Yamamoto – slow
  25. Christijan Albers
  26. Markus Winkelhock – records

A few explanations are in order, I think. Kimi is “opposite” because he seems to be the opposite of what everybody thinks of him. For some stupid reason his nickname is “Iceman” because he’s cool and collected, when he’s nothing of the sort! He’s a throwback to the playboy driver years of the 70s. He shoves course workers when he’s crashed. He always — always — takes a nice long swig out of the bottle of champagne when he’s on the podium. He’s about as far from an “iceman” as you could get.

Nick Heidfeld is “fourth” because he always seemed to place fourth this season.

Jenson Button is the British driver of “yesterday”, thanks to Lewis Hamilton.

Takuma Sato is accident-”prone”, crash-”prone”, and also excitement-”prone”, such as when he overtook Fernando Alonso in the closing laps of the 2007 Canadian Grand Prix.

Rubens Barrichello is “poor”, as in “poor Rubens crashed again” or “poor Rubens has a shitty car”.

The ones that are blank I couldn’t think up names to. My faithful readers can undoubtedly come up with some good one-word descriptions!

Ding Dong Ralf Is Gone

F1Fanatic has the shocking news: Ralf Schumacher will not be racing for Toyota in 2008. This comes as no surprise to anybody following Formula 1, as Ralf’s performance in the past three years has been sub-par, especially when you consider the rumours that Ralf’s paycheque is one of the highest in the championship.

In 2007 Ralf has scored a measly five championship points. His qualifying performance has been absymal, occasionally failing to make it out of the first qualifying round. This is unacceptable for a team the size of Toyota, which is rumoured to have the highest budget in all of Formula 1.

It didn’t start out this way for Ralf and Toyota, as in 2005 he finished sixth in the Drivers’ Championship and helped Toyota take fourth in the Constructors’, only 12 points behind Ferrari. 2006 was a disappointment. Ralf scored 20 points and finished tenth and the team finished sixth. And 2007 is worse yet: Ralf is in fourteenth place and Toyota is again in sixth, but would be in seventh had McLaren not been stripped of their points.

Clearly Toyota’s strategy of having two seasoned veterans in place for multiple years isn’t working. That’s not to say that the drivers are the sole reason behind Toyota’s failure to make it out of the midpack: the massive budget clearly doesn’t result in a car that can go fast. But drivers are often the easiest part of the package to replace, and bringing in a new driver can revitalize a team. It’s rumoured that Timo Glock, 2007 GP2 champion, will be brought in to replace Schumacher.

That could be a good fit, as Timo has raced in Formula One before. He’s contracted to BMW, but they’ve already confirmed Nick Heidfeld and Robert Kubica for 2008.

And where would Ralf go? F1Fanatic suggests Williams, Super Aguri, Spyker, or ProDrive. I like the fifth option: retirement.

I’ve never been a fan of Ralf Schumacher. I think he’s an average driver who never shows any passion for driving a Formula 1 car. He rarely displays any rationalization for his massive paycheque or Toyota’s devotion to him. I don’t think a young team (like Spyker or ProDrive) would be well-served by him coming on board — Toyota was helped briefly when he started with them but since then they’ve languished in the midfield. And Williams would be taking a huge step back in bringing Ralf back. No, I think the only option Ralf should take is retirement.

Ralf, you followed your brother into Formula 1, and as far as I’m concerned you can follow him right back out.