Oh Bad Baby Names, how you fill my Mondays with joy. Thank you, proud parents of Hawaii, for being such fine examples of morondom. You didn’t disappoint this week!
I mean, how could you possibly be disappointed with Bad Baby Names like Dashley or Kaitlyn? Or Cherish?
The misspellings were in full force this week too! Little Kheerah was born, as was Kaige. Kaige! Even spelled properly it’s a bad name!
Tayven is just a bad name, pure and simple. Izec is strangely bad. It’s a Scrabble name, really. Pull four letters out and let’s make a name out of them! And Jaxx… Unless you’re a fan of Basement Jaxx this name has no place on a birth certificate. Even if you are a fan of Basement Jaxx it has no place on a birth certificate.
The co-winners this week are both bad for different reasons. Hawaii Wolf is just awesome in its badness. Hawaii Wolf! Hawaii Wolf! It’s one of those names that doesn’t get any better the more you say it. Hawaii Wolf! Still bad!
And the second co-winner is EJ.Donmark. That’s how it was spelled, no spaces between the initials and the “second” name, only one period in there. Maybe it’s pronounced “edge-dot-donmark”. Who knows.
Starting off this week we find two sets of twins were born. The first set had perfectly normal names: Sascha and Simon. The second set had perfectly horrible names: K-Lee and Ky-Lee.
I’m not sure about the wisdom of naming your daughter after someone who sold out Samson to the Philistines for cash. Further, I’m not sure about the wisdom of tarting the name up and naming your daughter Delylah.
And today’s winner is a blessing to us all: little Blessyng was born. Bless.
Staples has an awesome deal on this $1300 defibrillator: a free MP3 player with every purchase! Clearly this is so you can get your rock on while you get your live-saving on.
What songs would you listen to while giving someone the zaps? My favourites would be “Ride The Lightning” by Metallica, “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC, and “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin.
My American and international readers might not know this, but by posting Canadian election results before the polls closed nationwide, I broke Canadian election law.
Since 1938, a ban has been in place that forbids reporting election results in Canada before all the polls have closed. Section 329 of the Canada Elections Act states:
No person shall transmit the result or purported result of the vote in an electoral district to the public in another electoral district before the close of all of the polling stations in that other electoral district.
The punishment for breaking this law is a fine no greater than $25,000.
This law was challenged in the 2000 election when Paul Bryan, a software engineer living in British Columbia, published results on his website. After bouncing upwards in the court system (convicted in B.C. Provincial Court, overturned in B.C. Supreme Court, ban upheld by B.C. Court of Appeal), the Supreme Court of Canada upheld the blackout. Bryan was fined $1000.
I don’t live in Canada, so I don’t fall under the jurisdiction of the law. I don’t agree with the law, either. Voters should be given the opportunity to vote with any information available to them. If this means Western Canadians get to know the results from Atlantic Canada and possibly change their votes because of this new information, so be it. Elections Canada has every ability to stop this from happening by having the polls close across the country at the same time (tough to do as Canada spans five time zones), not release the results to the media until all the polls are closed, push for expanded early voting or mail-in votes, or close polling stations at staggered times across the country but only start counting at the same time.
A ban on disseminating information in the age of world-wide instant communication is infeasible, as my blog (and others, and other sources like Twitter) demonstrate. It’s a law for the radio age, not for the Internet age, and ought to be stricken from the Canada Elections Act.
Further reading:
Hey John McCain. We know you’re not very smart when it comes to technology. We know you’re dottering on and about to kick off soon. But can you at least learn one little fact?
Planetarium projectors are not “overhead projectors.” Why do you continue to say they are? You’ve said this time and time and time again. But saying something wrong three times does not make it right.
I realize that the truth is difficult for you to grasp, but here’s how you can remember what’s what: this is a planetarium projector, and this is an overhead projector. This is a planetarium projector, and this is an overhead projector. This is a future President, and this is a failure of a presidential candidate. I know it’s hard, but do try to learn something for a change.
Hope that helps.
