It’s been a while since our last post, but trust me, the wait is worth it. I’ve been sitting on the first five Bad Baby Names for a few weeks in hopes that more would come join them. Today’s baby name column in the Trib supplied worthy contenders, so it’s our lucky day!

Rysha was one of the ones I was sitting on for a while. It’s bad. Equally bad is Ryland Race. And Tenielle. I think they were going for Tennille.

One little boy got one hell of a good middle name. His name is William Tribble Wood. Tribble!

Getting to this week’s list (you’ll notice I haven’t sprung the fifth name on you yet, that comes at the end), I knew it was going to be a good one from the very first name in the column: Jezzika. That’s horrible.

Equally horrible is Cashus. I think they were going for Cassius but spelled it phonetically. They tried… but failed.

Xarahlyn’s parents didn’t even try. They failed right from the start.

This week’s co-winners are Destinee (that’s the one I was sitting on) and Destany`sue. I can feel you shuddering in horror from here.

This week’s first Bad Baby Name hearkens back to the very first Bad Baby Name post here, where Dicetin was the co-loser. This week we have little Dycein. You can use them both in a sentence! “Did you put the Dycein the Dicetin?”

Breezy is a name you give your kid when you want to sign them up for Abbott & Costello routines. “What’s the weather like, Breezy?” “Yes it is.” “Yes it is what?” “It’s Breezy.” “I know that, I was asking what the weather’s like!”

Kievyn is just a poorly chosen name. The rationale parents always give for giving their kids stupid misspellings of common names is so their child will have a unique name. Well guess what, when teacher’s yelling at “Kevin” your precious unique gem is going to respond too. That’s the sign of a common name. The misspelling just makes you look stupid.

Reef can go play with Ocean Reef Butts.

I understand liking a name. I don’t understand liking a name so much you use it twice. Clearly Jushin Jack-Jack’s parents really like the name Jack.

But our co-winners today take the cake. When you have twins, one a boy and one a girl, it’s not unusual to give them similar names. Samuel and Samantha, for example. You don’t give them the same name, though. Unfortunately that’s what one set of parents did, they named their twins Rustyn and Rustynn. Who’s the boy? Who’s the girl? Who’s the idiot (hint: there are two and they’re older than one year old)?

Seriously, Rustyn and Rustynn? Rustyn by itself is a stupid name. It’s something cars do when they’re out in the rain. But to double it up and name your twins Rustyn and Rustynn? Is one pronounced “rustin” (like a tin can) and the other “rustine” (like a tine on a fork)? Or “rusteen”? Are the parents going to yell out “RUSTYN WITH ONE N GET OVER HERE”?

You voted, and the results are in: the Baddest Baby Name of 2008 is Aiz’n Soljah Boy!

Congrats, Aiz’n!

There’s only a couple of weeks left in 2008, so it’s the perfect time to let everybody vote on the 2008 Baddest Baby Name! This year we have seven Bad Baby Names that made the cut.

First up we have Xzavyer. Xzavyer beat out a strong crowd of contenders, including Chardanay Unique, Zhairae, and ReiLey. That was a bumper crop and Xzavyer was the worst of the bunch.

Adnilam was a reversed Bad Baby Name. Bad both coming and going.

Eunique was certainly a uniquely Bad Baby Name.

I’ve already received awesome commentary by picking Aiz’n Soljah Boy as the Bad Baby Name for May 12th. Someone names their kid Aiz’n Soljah Boy and I’m the “fucking retard”?

Tullimwar KS Jr. Casio came along in another one of those bumper crop of Bad Baby Names.

Sometimes Bad Baby Names grow on you. I know at least one person who doesn’t think Abcde is all that bad. But the more time goes on, the more I think Kayciance Clarita-jayne is a horrible name.

And bringing up the unfortunate rear in this Bad Baby Name parade is Zhyre Kamanu U’ilani Tampon

And with that, it’s time to vote! People reading this via Facebook or on an RSS reader, please visit the post to vote. Ta!