Today the Hawaii Tribune-Herald released its annual Best of East Hawaii list. While I agree with some of the choices, I can’t help but think a few of them are either because nobody in East Hawaii goes to the better places, or nobody in East Hawaii has any taste. Here are my selections for some of the restaurant winners:

Best Cup of Coffee: Trib readers voted Starbucks Coffee in as the best cup of coffee in East Hawaii. This, I think, is the greatest travesty in this whole list. Starbucks? They’re renowned for having about the worst cup of coffee you could ever sell. Even McDonalds has better coffee here. My choice? Kope Kope Espresso Cafe, hands down. Not only do they have excellent coffee, it’s local coffee too! The only fault I can find with Kope Kope is their customer service has gone downhill of late. A friend of mine was buying around ten pounds of local coffee, and we waited nearly an hour for the girls behind the till to get labels on them and package them up — and even then they weren’t labelled properly! If you’ve got the time to spend waiting for service, then by all means hit up Kope Kope for the best cup of coffee in town.

Best Italian Food: For some reason Pescatore Italian Restaurant keeps winning this category. I don’t know why. Serving mediocre pasta does not make for an award-winning Italian restaurant. I think nobody knows about Cafe Concerto, which blows Pescatore out of the water. The quality of the pasta at Cafe Concerto is miles above that at Pescatore. Customer service is about equal, but you’ll probably be offered an apéritif at Cafe Concerto.

Best Pizza: Honestly, I thought this was going to be a toss-up between Big Island Pizza and Pizza Hawaii. Both make awesome pizzas, and this category should have gone to both of them. So imagine my surprise (and disgust) when I found that it went to Pizza Hut! Ugh!

Best Smoothie: Another case where chain trumps local, Jamba Juice won this one, when it should have gone to What’s Shakin’, a little smoothie shack on the Onomea Bay scenic drive. Sure, the smoothies are kind of expensive, and sure, they take a bit of time, but they’re made with fresh fruits and are super delicious.

Those are the egregious offenders. There are other categories where I would have picked different winners (Best Japanese Food: Miyo’s over Nihon; Best Poke: Sack & Save over KTA; Best Hamburger: almost anybody over Burger King), but these four are the worst.